The 15 Red Flags You Need To Pay Attention To In An Online Dating Profile
By Joshua Pompey
Online dating profile red flags
Having worked with online daters for close to fifteen years, I am all too aware that there are a whole lot of creepy and low quality men populating dating sites. On behalf of the male gender, I deeply apologize!
The good news is, once you learn how to spot online dating profile red flags, you’ll be able to drastically reduce your odds of winding up on a date that you regret agreeing to. Today I’m going to discuss 15 of the most common red flags to be on the lookout for.
1. Men who appear too eager
Let’s be real… When Leonardo DiCaprio acts overeager as Romeo, it’s cute because he’s Leonardo DiCaprio! If a man online was to demonstrate the same overly romantic behaviors and declare love at first site, it would be downright creepy, as well as scary! Be wary of any profiles that express intense desires for a relationship or over the top romantic aspirations.
If a man is coming on this strong in his profile, just think about how intensely those qualities will be magnified during the courting process or over the course of a relationship. Oftentimes the men who appear too eager in the dating profile are also the same men who become stalkerish or completely overbearing after meeting.
2. He shows signs of baggage
Avoid men who negatively reference prior events from their life or bring up reasons for previous relationships not working out. This is a strong indication that they are carrying baggage, bitterness, or regrets. If a man can’t even keep baggage out of a profile, he’s certainly not going to keep it out of a relationship moving forward.
3. His profile lacks confidence
We all have insecurities. This is completely natural. At the same time, there is a time and place for those insecurities. If you get the feel from a man’s profile that he is lacking confidence or is completely down on himself, this may be an indication that he has much larger issues. A quality man’s profile should have the vibe that he is happy, secure, and knows he is someone worth getting to know.
4. His profile gives off negative energy
Avoid any men that project negative energy from their profile. Common offenders are men who create lists of what they don’t want in a partner, negatively referring to prior relationships, expressing a lack of desire to try online dating, or showing hostility towards certain demographics (political, religious, etc.)
People that live happy and well-rounded lives don’t feel a need to express negativity in a dating profile. These are the types of men you should be focusing your efforts on.
5. You have one or more “questionable photos.”
Any photo that makes you question who you are talking to is a major red flag. Sometimes it’s one picture that looks nothing like the previous five pictures. Other times it’s a photo that makes him appear much older than the rest of his photos . Or it could be a picture that causes you to question his character. Whatever the case me be, if your instinct is telling you something is off, trust that instinct.
6. He uses words that reveal a narrow mindset
Avoid profiles that are populated with the words can’t, won’t, shouldn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t and don’t. Who would ever want to be in a relationship with that type of person? An open mindset and willingness to try new things is part of what makes life so much fun! Leave these types guys where they belong – alone on their couch searching for other close-minded people!
7. He seems a little too good to be true
Any profile that is TOO perfect is a profile you should be wary of. If your potential date has model looks, has served in the Peace Corps, runs a multi-million dollar business, fosters children, and is a part time firefighter, you may want to start questioning his profile. If a profile sounds a little too good to be true, it probably is!
8. He doesn’t seem ready for a commitment
Avoid trying to tame men who clearly aren’t ready to settle down. Just look at John Stamos above. I couldn’t fault you if you wanted a fling with a man like this. But women have been trying to tame him since the 80’s and how well has that worked out?
Some men will outright say they aren’t looking for anything serious online, others will just give off a playboy vibe. Regardless of the category, if you are seeking a relationship then stick to men whose profiles seem to be taking the process seriously. There are enough serial daters online. You don’t need to be another notch on their belt.
9. He is giving off the “I need a mom” vibes
If his profile his filled with phrases such as, “I need a woman who is…” or tries to put women into gender roles that cater towards making his life easier (cooking, cleaning, etc.) then this is a man you need to avoid. You are looking for a partner, not a child.
Men who appear immature or write at an age inappropriate level also belong in this category.
10. His profile feels disingenuous
A profile should have a genuine and natural feel to it. It shouldn’t feel as if it was created in an online dating lab, designed to hit every mark and checkbox of what a man thinks a woman wants to hear. If you don’t get an authentic feel when you read his profile, you might be dealing with someone who is inauthentic in person as well.
10. His profile has sexual and overly flirtatious undertones
I’m no prude and probably the most open-minded man you’ll ever meet, but the online dating profile is not the place for sexual references or aggressive innuendos. Even men who express how much they love deep kissing (something I’ve seen more times than I could count), or love PDA, often turn out to be creepy and off-putting in person.
13. He posts 3 pictures or less
In a day an age where just about every person walking this earth has a smart phone, there is no excuse for having 3 pictures or less. This is either an indication that the man is hiding something, or that the pictures he is posting will not line up to the man you meet in person. Men with full and active lives should be able to come up with at least 4 pictures (at the absolute minimum).
14. Too much emphasis on financial success
Some men define their entire self worth by how much money they make or their career path. In a best case scenario, discussing these matters too much in a profile is a sign that he is slightly insecure and trying to overcompensate through money. In a worst case scenario, he may also be narcissistic, career obsessed, or have the wrong priorities in life. Having wealth is a positive thing, but something that a man should be humble about.
15. His grammar and spelling are poor
This not only reveals a lack of education, but may also be in indication that he is lazy and doesn’t take important matters seriously. Just think, if he is too lazy to put effort into something as important as finding love, how much effort is he going to put into a relationship, as well as the things that truly matter one day?
Now that you know the online dating profile red flags, it’s time to put yourself in the best possible position to attract the RIGHT kind of man online!
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