{"id":2399,"date":"2020-05-06T15:27:28","date_gmt":"2020-05-06T15:27:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/joshuapompey.com\/women\/?page_id=2399"},"modified":"2025-03-23T16:46:44","modified_gmt":"2025-03-23T16:46:44","slug":"how-to-start-conversations-with-guys-online","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/joshuapompey.com\/women\/how-to-start-conversations-with-guys-online\/","title":{"rendered":"how to start conversations with guys online without looking desperate"},"content":{"rendered":"

[vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”full_width” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern” css_animation=””][vc_column][vc_column_text]<\/p>\n

How to Start Conversations With Guys Online WITHOUT Looking Desperate:\u00a0\u00a03 Proven Methods Backed By 10 Years of Data<\/b><\/h1>\n

[vc_separator type=’transparent’ position=’center’ color=” thickness=” up=’10’ down=’10’]<\/p>\n

By Joshua Pompey[\/vc_column_text][vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″][vc_column_text]\"how[\/vc_column_text][vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″][vc_column_text]<\/p>\n

How to start conversations with guys online<\/strong><\/h2>\n

[vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″][<\/p>\n

It’s no secret that I am a HUGE advocate\u00a0of\u00a0INITIATING conversations online as opposed to waiting for quality men to FIND YOU.<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=’transparent’ position=’center’ color=” thickness=” up=’10’ down=’10’]<\/p>\n

Why?\u00a0 Just think about your own life and behavior patterns on dating sites.\u00a0 As a high quality woman, you probably have a busy career, an active social life, and\u00a0a wide range of interests.<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=’transparent’ position=’center’ color=” thickness=” up=’10’ down=’10’]<\/p>\n

By the time you finish your daily routine, you probably have very little time or energy to perform searches and initiate conversations right?\u00a0 This is more than understandable.\u00a0 You live a full life!<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=’transparent’ position=’center’ color=” thickness=” up=’10’ down=’10’]<\/p>\n

The quality\u00a0guys on dating sites\u00a0are in the exact same situation.\u00a0 \u00a0Since\u00a0they also live very full lives, they\u00a0also perform the least amount of searches.\u00a0 More often than not, they just wait for whatever women come their way because they are so busy living their lives.\u00a0 \u00a0This is why it is so important to actively search and\u00a0start conversations. But I get it.\u00a0\u00a0Many of you\u00a0fear that sending the first message\u00a0will make you look desperate.<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=’transparent’ position=’center’ color=” thickness=” up=’10’ down=’10’]<\/p>\n

Not to worry.\u00a0\u00a0Learning how to start conversations with guys online without<\/em> looking desperate is easy.\u00a0 It’s all about how you approach the first email.\u00a0 Let’s take a look at\u00a03 types of emails you can use to initiate.<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″]<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 I have no idea if we\u2019d get along but\u2026<\/strong><\/h2>\n

[vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″]<\/p>\n

With this\u00a0conversation starter, you need to\u00a0find something\u00a0in his profile that\u00a0you both have in common. Preferably, it should be something that you are both really<\/em> passionate<\/em> about.<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″]<\/p>\n

Let’s take a look at an example of how this opening message might look:<\/strong><\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″]<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″]<\/p>\n

I have no idea if we\u2019d get along, but<\/span> I just had to message you because<\/span> I\u2019ve also seen Bruce Springsteen OVER 10 times! I was beginning to think I was alone in my obsession with him. Lol\u2026 Where was the first venue you ever saw him play at?<\/em><\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=’transparent’ position=’center’ color=” thickness=” up=’10’ down=’10’]<\/p>\n

Framing the dialogue in this manner paints the picture that\u00a0you weren’t TRYING to go out of\u00a0your\u00a0way to message him.\u00a0 But how could\u00a0you pass up on letting him know that you are also such a big fan of the same musician?\u00a0 You felt like “you\u00a0had to message him” about this.<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=’transparent’ position=’center’ color=” thickness=” up=’10’ down=’10’]<\/p>\n

The\u00a0framing of the language\u00a0creates the image of a woman who just happened to notice that\u00a0she shares a really strong commonality, as opposed to a woman who\u00a0is actively TRYING to find someone with commonalities.<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=’transparent’ position=’center’ color=” thickness=” up=’10’ down=’10’]<\/p>\n

In addition to not looking desperate, you are creating a subtle chase by stating,\u00a0 \u201cI have no idea if we\u2019d get along.\u201d\u00a0 Men like a little bit of a chase as opposed to women fawning all over them.\u00a0\u00a0This language lets him know that you are interested to an extent, but he can\u2019t go ahead and cash that check\u00a0just yet.\u00a0 You are\u00a0simply\u00a0exploring the possibility<\/em> of a connection.<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=’transparent’ position=’center’ color=” thickness=” up=’10’ down=’10’]<\/p>\n

Finally, this type of opener establishes that you both share a strong commonality.\u00a0 This will help to raise interest and build the feeling that there is a potential connection in the works.<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″]<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 Focus on the context of a picture<\/strong><\/h2>\n

[vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″]<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″]<\/p>\n

See the picture above?\u00a0\u00a0I\u00a0photoshopped that picture of myself\u00a0as a gift\u00a0to all you ladies out there.\u00a0 Sexy, I know.\u00a0 You’re welcome!<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=’transparent’ position=’center’ color=” thickness=” up=’10’ down=’10’]<\/p>\n

Just kidding of course!\u00a0 But suppose I posted this in my profile to make women laugh and bait them into a conversation.\u00a0 \u00a0If you saw this picture and were interested in me, you could open up a conversation by focusing on the context of the picture.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Perhaps you\u00a0write something along the lines of, \u201cLOL that is hilarious! So on a scale of 1-10, just how well is that picture working?\u201d<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=’transparent’ position=’center’ color=” thickness=” up=’10’ down=’10’]<\/p>\n

These conversation starters have a laid back feel because they are\u00a0painting the image of a woman who just happened to notice a\u00a0picture, not a woman who is actively pursuing a man (even though you are actively pursuing the guy!).\u00a0 It’s all about having that laid back and matter of fact approach.<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″]<\/p>\n

3. It\u2019s too bad you\u2019re a\u2026<\/strong><\/h2>\n

[vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″]<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″]<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s pretend you happen to be a Met\u2019s fan and you see a picture of a man wearing a Yankee\u2019s<\/a> hat.\u00a0 Maybe you were even lucky enough to come across Denzel Washington himself on a dating site, as depicted\u00a0above\u00a0(a woman can dream right?).\u00a0 A great opening email could be:<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″]<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

It\u2019s too bad you\u2019re a Yankee fan\u2026 we really had the potential to be something special\u2026 \ud83d\ude1b<\/em><\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″]<\/p>\n

This works on a variety of levels:<\/strong><\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″]<\/p>\n

It opens the conversation with a playful flirtation and will spark a fun dialogue that is simultaneously tapping into a mutual interest.<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=’transparent’ position=’center’ color=” thickness=” up=’10’ down=’10’]<\/p>\n

It requires him to chase you in his response. He\u2019s most likely going to give a playful reason why you both could still work, in spite of\u00a0you being a Met’s fan.<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=’transparent’ position=’center’ color=” thickness=” up=’10’ down=’10’]<\/p>\n

It allows you to use a flirting technique called push pull. You are pulling him in with something nice (we had the potential to be something special), then pushing him away with a reason it wouldn\u2019t work (he is a Yankee fan).<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=’transparent’ position=’center’ color=” thickness=” up=’10’ down=’10’]<\/p>\n

This type of email can be used on any topic that you\u00a0have a slight difference of opinion on, but\u00a0you will want to avoid serious topics (politics, religion) and stick to topics that are fun.\u00a0 It is also most effective when you are focusing on something that you both are very passionate about.<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″]<\/p>\n

Looking for\u00a0some more free online dating advice?<\/strong><\/h2>\n

[vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″]<\/p>\n

\"woman<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″]<\/p>\n

Click here<\/a> for plenty of free articles and advice, including emailing tutorials, online dating photo ideas<\/a>, and more.<\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″][<\/p>\n

NEED A LITTLE PROFESSIONAL HELP WITH YOUR PROFILE?\u00a0 WITH OVER 20,000 PROFILES CREATED, OUR PROS ARE THE BEST IN THE BUSINESS SINCE 2009.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

[vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″]<\/p>\n

\"online<\/a><\/p>\n

[vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″]<\/p>\n

Learning how to start conversations won’t amount to much without a profile that is designed to stand out from the competition and make men take notice.\u00a0\u00a0With over 20,000 profiles created since 2009, we are the best in the business.\u00a0 Learn more here<\/a>.[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]<\/p>\n

[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”full_width” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern” css_animation=””][vc_column][vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”full_width” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern” css_animation=””][vc_column][vc_column_text]<\/p>\n

Founder Joshua Pompey Has Been Featured On:<\/h2>\n

[\/vc_column_text][vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”20″ down=”20″][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”full_width” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern” css_animation=””][vc_column]