Q & A with Joshua Pompey: Should You Send a Message With Your Likes On Dating Apps?

Q & A with Joshua Pompey: Questions from Actual Clients

Q: When sending likes on apps like Hinge or Bumble, is it generally better to send a comment/message with the like whenever possible, or is it sometimes better to just send a like without a message?

A: I recommend sending a message with your like whenever possible. A like on its own doesn’t give the other person much to work with—it puts all the pressure on them to start the conversation. When you include a message, you’re immediately creating context, showing effort, and making it easier for someone to respond.

Ideally, your message should do one of two things: bring a bit of humor or wit to the interaction, or highlight a clear commonality you share with them. The best messages often do both… something playful that also ties into a shared interest, background, or detail from their profile. That combination tends to stand out the most because it feels both engaging and relevant, regardless of whether you’re messaging men or women.

It doesn’t need to be long or overly clever. In fact, simplicity usually works better. Most people are sending likes without any message at all, so even a short, well-thought-out comment immediately separates you from the majority and increases your chances of getting a response.

At the end of the day, your goal is to make it as easy and natural as possible for the other person to reply. A strong, personalized message with your like helps you take control of the interaction from the very beginning.