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25 Ways I Created The Best Online Dating Profile Ever Made
25 Ways I Created The Best Online Dating Profile Ever Made
By Joshua Pompey
Okay, maybe I’m a little bit biased. But I sure like to think that I was in possession of the best online dating profile ever made (prior to meeting my wife online!).
And while my profile may not have actually been the BEST in the world, it sure got me dates with more beautiful women than I ever dreamed possible, ultimately landing me the woman who is now my wife. Just look at one of my weekly reports on match.com back in the day.
How incredible can your results be? Just take a look at one of my weekly reports on Match.com
If 79 woman showing interest in one week (not counting emails that were sent in my direction) sounds great to you, this is what happens when you take the time to curate an incredible profile.
So let’s get into the components of what made my profile one of the best ever, so that you so that you could replicate the process on you own. (Or.. cue shameless plug… you can hire our profile writers)
1. I keep women laughing through the entire experience
When women read this portion of the profile, they not only laugh, but I’d often receive a dozen emails a week from women making jokes about “my poor grandmother.”
When it comes to qualities women look for in a man, laughter is always near the top of the list. Writing a hilarious profile communicates that you are fun, socially intelligent, and will make a great first date.
2. My profile has a good time with the process
Most profiles are incredibly tedious and boring. The best online dating profiles remove that boredom and have fun with the process.
Writing a profile should never make someone feel like they are reading a resume. This is the quickest way to ensure that women ignore you.
When I set about writing my profile, my goal was to inject as much of my personality into it as I could and to just have fun with it.
Just look at the example below as a snapshot of how I am having fun with the profile writing process.
In this example I am having fun, unleashing the silly side of my personality, entertaining my audience, making women laugh, and simultaneously communicating a few of my interests.
This is leaps and bounds more entertaining than most of the boring profiles out there, and thus, gives me a huge advantage.
P.S. I don’t really wear heels!
3. I communicate that I have drive.
The man pictured above is Elon Musk, founder of Tesla. He may not be the best looking man in the world, but even if he made an extremely average salary, he’d probably have beautiful women lining up to date him.
Why? Because he is a visionary, filled with drive and goals that he is determined to accomplish.
Having ambition is a quality that women are instinctively attracted to. This can be attributed to evolutionary programming that goes back centuries.
The key to demonstrating ambition in your profile is to do so in a subtle manner. Nobody likes a braggart.
There’s multiple ways you could approach this. It could be something simple like the sample below from my profile:
Or it could be something that goes into a bit more depth that really highlights the passion you have for your job. This is the profile of one of my extremely successful clients:
It is important to note that drive can come in many forms. It doesn’t have to be financial. It could be your passion for art, volunteering, raising a family, etc. But you do have to show you have goals and purpose in your life.
4. The best online dating profiles are structured to be easy on the eyes.
See that woman above… She has absolutely nothing to do with this article. But she sure is easy on the eyes huh?
I have to keep your attention somehow through this long article right? And you’re welcome for that!
Now where were we. Profile writing being easy on the eyes…
See how this post is written? None of the paragraphs are more than 3 lines long. This because if my paragraphs were longer you probably would skip over them.
Just look at this woman’s profile as an example:
Would you stop and read this entire paragraph if you came across her profile? Probably not. It’s too visually intimidating and feels like homework.
Want further proof on the power of a well-structured piece of writing?
The importance of short paragraphs is something I learned from one of the best online marketers in the world, Neil Patel. This is a man who specializes in writing content that goes viral and attracts hundreds of thousands of visitors a month to his site.
Neil Patel may not know anything about online dating profiles. I’ve never met the man, nor do I know if he has ever even tried online dating.
But his research on writing content that gets read is universal and without a doubt applies to profile writing.
5. The words in my profile are carefully chosen to reveal a confidence and ease about myself.
Confidence is arguably the most important quality a man can have. No beautiful woman is going to think you are worthy of her if you don’t even feel like you are worthy of yourself.
The words you choose in your profile, along with how you phrase them are going to reveal just how much confidence you have. Take a look at how I end my own online dating profile in the screenshot below.
The wording is simple, to the point, and communicates confidence. I am subtly communicating that I have an active social life by stating that I get busy sometimes and not just sitting around on dating sites all day long.
You’d be amazed at how many women throw me their number in their 1st message after reading my profile.
Think about how different my confidence would appear if I wrote:
I’m looking to find a nice girl to connect with. If you have any interest in what I wrote, I’m a really nice guy just looking for a nice girl and would love the chance to meet you.
The above example shows zero confidence and would completely cripple my results.
Some other common words and phrases you will want to avoid are:
- If you are interested…
- I’m looking for…
- I want…
- Any phrase expressing you are a nice guy
Confidence is also reflected in how comfortable you appear to be with yourself in your writing.
Go back to some of the screenshots I posted earlier in this post and you’ll notice that there is an ease to everything I write.
6. I designed my profile to only send off positive energy.
The profile above is a perfect example of a man that oozes insecurity and negative energy. This profile is a sign that screams, “I have baggage and women don’t like me!”
When you write your profile, never focus on anything negative. Only focus on focus on sending out positive vibes.
For example, I would never write, “If you smoke, don’t have a job, and are all about material things, don’t message me.”
This is true, but I would never write it. I would just express what I do want in a positive way.
A better way to write this would be, “I connect best with those who are active, have goals, and get excited about creating new experiences.”
Always find ways to spin what you don’t want into what you do want by changing the way you phrase the language. Positive writing attracts positive attention. Negative writing attracts NO attention.
7. I don’t waste valuable space writing about what I’m looking for in a partner.
Peoples attentions spans are short, so you have to make the absolute most of every single word. My self-summary doesn’t have a paragraph about what I am looking for in a partner because this is just wasting valuable space.
If women are only going to spend 60 seconds reading my profile, why waste that space talking about them when I could be using that space to highlight more about why they should be attracted to me.
When you write your profile correctly, it will be implicitly clear what you are looking for without directly stating it.
For example, if I write that I love to ski, rock climb, spend time with family, and travel, women will understand that I want someone who is also active, family oriented, and adventurous. I am killing two birds with one stone without wasted their valuable time.
The overall lesson: Make sure you get the most mileage out of every single world you write.
8. I give just about every type of woman a reason to date me.
Having commonalities with someone is a great way to build interest.
The more diversity you show, the more likely women will find things in your profile to connect with, and the more likely they will feel you could be a match.
Try to reveal all your personality traits and squeeze in as many hobbies, passions, goals, and ambitions as you can throughout the duration of your profile.
Just make sure you do this in a way that flows smoothly and entertains, without feeling forced.
9. I infuse questions into my profile in a calculated manner
Asking questions in my online dating profile serves 2 purposes.
First, it makes the profile feel more personal.
Can I ask you a question before I continue this post?
Okay, I don’t actually have a question. But when I asked you that question above, did it feel for a split second like I was personally talking to you?
This is the effect asking direct questions can have. It psychologically creates a one on one experience, even though thousands of people are reading this article.
Asking questions in your profile will have the same impact. It will make women feel as if you are directly speaking to them, and thus, will sub-consciously create a stronger bond and connection with the reader.
In addition, asking questions can drastically increase the amount of women who start up conversations with you.
I like to refer to this as profile bait. Let’s look at the example below, where I end with a question that encourages women to share a book they have read recently.
This baits the reader into suggesting a book to me, and provides women with an easy way to start a conversation without having to think to much.
The easier we make it for women to start a conversation, the more likely they will. Profile bait is one of the best tools for this.
10. I didn’t completely reinvent the wheel
Yea that’s right. That super douchey looking guy with the painted nails and goggles on his head was actually someone who I was able to extract tremendous knowledge from once upon a time.
If you don’t know who that is, his name is “Mystery” and he was a famous pick up artist back in the late 90’s and early 2000’s when women apparently fell for men with goggles on their heads?
But as silly, cheesy, and disingenuous as some of the ideas behind “pick up artists” were, some of their teachings were insanely effective.
Perhaps one of the most important things I ever learned from “Mystery,” and Neil Strauss, author of The Game, was how the science of attraction works.
Through their teachings I learned that there are a whole variety of internal characteristics and personality traits that women are instinctively attracted to, even more so than a man’s physical appearance.
I then took this knowledge, figured out how to improve it, and then came up with endless ways to infuse it into the online dating universe.
I didn’t reinvent the wheel. I found valuable information, used it, and improved it.
And those guys didn’t reinvent the wheel either. Their teachings came from studies of human behavior and psychology. They simply figured out a way to gain value from scientific and sociological theories.
My overall point is, writing the best online dating profile in the world didn’t require me to make some ground breaking discovery.
It required me to figure out how I could drastically improve upon the best ideas already out there by creating a new and better system.
Hopefully you can do the same with this list that I have created for you and who knows, maybe even create a better profile than mine!
11. My writing shows that women are the ones who need to chase me
Let’s look at the following profile example:
“If you are interested and want to talk, shoot me a message.”
This sentence communicates that I am the one chasing and puts all the power in their hands. I am literally communicating that they get to decide if they think I’m good enough.
The best best online dating profiles use words to create the appearance that women have to chose us.
Let’s go back to an actual example from my profile in order to exemplify this:
“I do get kind of busy sometimes, but for those of you that my profile connects with, don’t be shy. Shoot me a message or drop me your number and let’s see where things go.”
This tweak in language now creates the appearance that I am in complete control of the situation. I’m not asking women to message me “if” they are interested.
I’m confidently telling women that view my profile to go ahead and send me a message, or even better, to just give me their phone number, which many women do in the very 1st email.
12. My profile is designed to be read 2 completely different ways.
Remember these illusions from your childhood?
What do you see when you look at the picture above, a pretty young woman, or an old lady?
When I wrote my online dating profile, I created it in a similar fashion. I allow the reader to read my profile in 2 completely different ways.
Why? Because the 1st time women read your online dating profile, they usually just skim it for information.
Once you officially have their interest, that’s when they go back and give it a much deeper read.
Therefore, a profile should be structured in a manner that allows it to be skimmed for information upon first reading, and read like a well-written short story upon second reading.
How do you do this?
First divide your profile writing into several mini paragraphs of 2 to 3 sentences each.
Then give each paragraph a specific focus.
A sample way to structure your profile:
Paragraph 1: A funny intro
Paragraph 2: About your career
Paragraph 3: Your outdoors hobbies
Paragraph 4: Your passion for athletics
Paragraph 5: Your indoor hobbies
Paragraph 6: End with a humorous cliffhanger
There are endless ways you can structure your paragraphs. Above is just one example.
Once you have a structure, think of each paragraph as a 2-3 sentence story and make them as entertaining as possible. You can incorporate all the tips from this article to assist you.
As overwhelming as writing an online dating profile might seem on the surface, if you just tackle the process 2-3 sentences at a time with each category having a different focus, it really isn’t that bad.
This will allow for an easy skim, as well as a highly entertaining read in which each paragraph flows from one to the next.
13. My writing reflects intelligence in various ways
My profile writing reflects intelligence in 2 ways.
First, I show wit throughout the profile. This is a silent indicator of intelligence.
Secondly, I write with style and avoid any grammatical errors. This is important, as women do notice these things.
Poor grammar will cause women to judge our intelligence and how much effort you put into things in life.
If your grammar is bad, you can always hire a professional profile writer to write your profile, or at the minimum, have one edit it.
If you can’t afford our services there are plenty of hungry college student’s who you will gladly edit your profile for a few bucks. You can also try a site such as fiverr.com to edit your profile for 5 dollars.
Finally, I communicate that I enjoy reading, writing, and display the University I graduated from.
If you don’t enjoy these things and didn’t go to college, don’t worry. There are countless people in that boat who are still highly intelligent.
But if you are in this situation, make up for it by displaying interests that show you do enjoy learning and educating yourself on some level.
The Pictures
14. I tell an extremely powerful visual story
Before I get into the specifics of crafting a photo gallery that is irresistible to women, it is critical to understand that the best online dating profiles tell a powerful story with their pictures.
Suppose this was the only picture I posted of myself? Yea, I might get some results. But my results would be minimal.
That’s because this photo places all the emphasis on my physical appearance. I reveal nothing about my hobbies, interests, passions, etc.
I actually performed an experiment using only this picture with the same profile I already had written and my results went down over 3,000%.
The profile I actually use seeks to tell a strong visual story about myself.
When a woman comes across my profile, she doesn’t just see a man smiling at the camera in a few boring locations.
She sees pictures of a man engaged with his friends, hobbies, family, life goals, etc.
As we continue this post, remember this all important fact: The overall visual story you tell is a massive contributor to your success.
Now let’s get more specific with what this visual story includes and doesn’t include.
15. My pictures focus on my strengths.
When I first started online dating, it was downright depressing how awful I looked in my photos. I know I’m a decent looking guy, and maybe I’m just hyper critical of myself, but I’ve always hated how I look in pictures.
My nose is rather long, my ears stick out, and my smile isn’t exactly endearing. I am the product of 6 years of braces that failed to do the job.
So instead, I focus on my strengths. It took me a long time to figure out a haircut that was ideal for myself, along with a style that made me feel comfortable, relaxed, and attractive.
Heck, I pretty much wear the same fitted jeans and v-neck in 10 different colors every day. But with that said, they aren’t some discount v-necks and jeans off the sales rack at WalMart.
They are high quality and fitted to my body type.
I go to the gym and keep in shape because I know that this not only improves my physical appearance, but also reveals I have motivation, goals, and drive.
Women do not want do date the type of guy who appears to sit on the couch all day eating Cheetos. Although let’s be real, I kind of wish I was right now!
My point is, focus on your strengths and always make a conscious effort to look your best self.
With the right haircut, clothes, grooming, and dedication to health, any man can become attractive enough to ignite interest from women online, pending the rest of the profile is set up efficiently.
16. I took hundreds of pictures to get 1 perfect picture.
As a rule of thumb, you always want to have 1 picture that highlights you looking your absolute best self.
This is the picture that is meant to communicate you can put yourself together well and be socially presentable if a woman decides to date you.
The best part about online dating is that you can take hundreds of awful pictures, but all you need is 1 perfect picture and you will have it forever.
Take a look at the picture of me below as an example of what not to do:
Suppose that was my “perfect picture.” Veins are popping out of my head. My vampire teeth are showing. My hair isn’t brushed. My eyes look evil. And my nose takes up half the picture at that angle.
Now look at the picture above? This was actually taken in a photo shoot when I launched this website. I think I look pretty respectable no? It can’t be denied that I look a heck of a lot better than the 1st picture.
Well here’s the funny part. If you were with me during the photo shoot that day, it was an absolute disaster. I took over 700 photos and there were only 7, including this one, that I was willing to use.
It got so bad in that photo shoot that my photographer was making jokes and playing the funniest music she could think of to try to get me to look more comfortable on camera.
But in the end, after 700 pictures and 2 hours of torture, I now had 7 pictures I could use for life. Keep that in mind when you put start putting in the hard work.
16. My main profile picture pops off the page in a search
It’s important to have a profile picture that immediately draws a woman’s eye to it. Women will see countless profiles when they perform searches.
The goal of my main picture is to make women’s eyes immediately focus on my picture first.
There’s many ways you can set about doing this. If you are a very good looking guy, or above average in looks, go with a closeup of your face.
If you aren’t the best looking guy looks wise, focus on your other strengths. Some ideas that work well are:
- Dog pictures
- Adventure pictures
- Humorous pictures
- Pictures that ignite curiosity
17. I understood that creating a photo gallery is not a 1 day task
Most people make the mistake of finding or taking a few pictures of themselves as fast as they can, uploading them, and calling it a day.
Bad approach.
Creating a truly effective photo gallery is not a ten minute task. It’s not an hour task. Nor is it a full day task.
First you need a plan. This post should serve as an excellent foundation for creating a plan.
Then you need to figure out all the places that you will obtain those pictures from.
Are they on your social media? Do you need to visit various locations? Do you have to call up friends? Are they on your phone? In the cloud?
Once you figure that out, it’s all about execution.
How long this takes will depend on how many pictures you already have in your possession to meet the goals on your checklist.
But trust me when I say, I’ve been helping men for close to a decade, and the ones who took several weeks to get their visual stories absolutely perfect had exponentially greater success than those who rushed the process.
18. I have at least 2 pictures with captions that makes women laugh
Let’s take a look at one of the photo captions that gets women laughing.
You would not believe how many women initiate conversations with me based on this caption alone. At least a dozen women a week initiate a conversation with me by commenting or making a joke about this photo.
And that’s not even remotely all this picture communicates. It taps into several other items on this list, including, but not limited to the next tip on this list.
As discussed in the profile writing portion of this article, always strive to make women laugh. This dramatically increases the chances they will want to go on a date with you.
19. I demonstrate that I have meaningful relationships in my life.
Let’s go back to the picture above. In addition to making women laugh, I am revealing that I have a strong bond with animals, my grandmother, my sister, and my nephew.
It’s a home run picture for making women laugh, for prompting women to initiate conversations, and for showing I have meaningful relationships in life.
Later on in my photo gallery I added another 2 pictures hanging out with friends, and another with family, further cementing the relationships in my life and my active social life.
20. Nothing beats a few dog pictures
If you don’t really like dogs, that’s too bad, because you are really missing out. Women absolutely love dog pictures such as the one above.
And notice once again, I am using humor in this picture as well. Humor + dogs = profile gold.
21. I create a sense of adventure
The adventure picture communicates to women that I am anything but boring and that life with me will be filled with new adventures and experiences.
That’s me in Iceland a few years back standing near a gargantuan waterfall. You may not see my face in this picture, but that doesn’t matter at all. Anyone viewing this can instantly see that I have an adventurous side.
Maybe you haven’t been to an adventurous location and money is a bit too tight to travel. Not a problem. Just check out the picture below.
This picture was taken at a national park — completely free. And here’s a little secret… I’m not actually doing anything scary.
I made the camera angle of that picture look really intense. In actuality, there was a very safe place to step down right next to me.
You may have to get creative if you don’t already have any adventurous pictures, but take the time to acquire one or more. This helps a lot.
22. I show that I have an active social life
The worst thing I could do with my photo gallery is post several pictures standing alone. This creates feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Whether it’s playing sports with friends, hanging out at happy hour, or the million and one things people do in their spare time, pictures that show you have an active social life are tremendously important.
They communicate that you enjoy being around people, and people enjoy being around you, both very attractive qualities.
In addition, women online are often nervous about winding up on a date with someone who is strange. These pictures will reveal that your daily life is normal and relatable.
23. I show that I’m open to learning new things.
That’s me above at a pizza making class with a couple of friends. If you saw the final result, you’d probably have a good laugh.
But it’s not about the pizza. It’s about trying new things.
This picture shows that I am open to trying new things and random activities.
Nobody is going to look at that and say, wow a chef! But they might just think, “Oh cool, he’s not just one-dimensional. We could try a lot of different activities together.”
24. I post photos that encourage questions
That picture of me above was taken in Texas in the middle of nowhere. There was literally not a car in sight.
Notice all the weird stuff going on in that picture. It’s almost like a piece of art the more you look at it. When women see this picture though, it raises their curiosity and prompts them to ask questions.
This is the same thing as the profile bait that we discussed earlier in the article, only this time, we I am using the photos to bait women into messaging me.
If you can find or create a picture that raises curiosity and ignites interest, it will help a lot.
25. I create their fantasy life
At the end of the day, when all is said and done my profile creates a fantasy of what an ideal partner would look like.
And that’s what it’s all about. Most women want to be with someone who is fun, smart, interesting, open-minded, and ready to explore the world.
When they come across my profile, they get that fantasy and more. Which is why my profile is right up their with the best online dating profiles in the world!
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