How To Ask A Woman Out On A Dating App Without Lowering Your Value

By Joshua Pompey

After creating more than 25,000 dating profiles over the past 2 decades, I’ve noticed one common mistake that many men make right before asking a woman out.

The surprising part? Most men don’t even realize they’re doing it.

While it may seem like a harmless question, the way you ask a woman out on a dating app can influence how your conversation feels before you’ve even met in person.

If you’re using apps like Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, or Match, a small adjustment to how you approach scheduling a date can help your conversations feel more confident, natural, and balanced.

The Mistake Most Men Make Asking Women Out On Dating Apps

Imagine you’ve been messaging a woman for a few days.

She’s laughing at your jokes. The conversation is flowing. She seems genuinely interested, and everything is going exactly how you hoped.

Now it’s finally time to ask her out on the app.

Like many men, you send a message that looks something like this:

“Are you free Tuesday night?”

Seems harmless, right?

But then she responds:

“Sorry, I already have plans Tuesday.”

So naturally, you suggest another day.

“What about Thursday?”

She replies:

“Sorry, I’m busy Thursday too.”

Uh oh. Now what? You’ve been put in the horrific position of having to ask her out a third time in a row.

So like many other guys in this situation, you try again.

“How about Saturday?”

And just like that, you’ve completely lowered your value in her eyes as the attraction fades away.

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Each Additional Day You Ask Her Out Lowers Your Value

Each time you offer another day, you’re revealing more about your availability.

Tuesday.

Thursday.

Saturday.

Without realizing it, your signaling that you’re willing to rearrange multiple nights of your week for a complete stranger that you’ve never even met.

Remember, this isn’t your girlfriend or someone you’ve been dating for months. This is a random stranger you’ve exchanged a few messages with online.

There’s nothing wrong with having a flexible schedule or being enthusiastic about meeting someone. However, repeatedly offering different days back to back to back is the equivalent to holding up a sign that says I have no life whatsoever (even if that isn’t true).

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Why This Can Affect Attraction

One of the qualities people often find attractive in a potential partner is having a full, active life.

People are naturally drawn to individuals who have their own interests, ambitions, relationships, and activities outside of dating.

That might include:

• Friends and family
• Hobbies and personal interests
• Career ambitions
• Social activities
• Travel and new experiences
• A life that doesn’t revolve entirely around dating

When someone has their own priorities and interests, it can communicate confidence and independence.

By contrast, immediately offering day after day can unintentionally create the impression that you’re lonely, have an empty life, don’t have many friends, or are available whenever the other person wants.

Once again, even if that isn’t true, that’s the impression created.

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How To Properly Ask Women Out On Dating Apps

So, how do you ask a woman out on a dating app without lowering your value or accidentally revealing that you are extremely available?

Instead of offering your own availability first, find out her availability first instead by saying:

“So what’s your schedule looking like this week? Let’s grab a drink sometime. It’ll be fun…”

This approach gives her an opportunity to share when SHE’s available rather than leaving you to guess.

For example, she might respond:

“I’m free Friday, Sunday, or Tuesday.”

Now you have a few options to work with.

You can simply say:

“Sunday works great.”

Or you can even make yourself look higher value by saying, I’m busy Friday and Tuesday, but Sunday could work…

You’ve avoided the pitfall of constantly getting denied for days you are suggesting and are now the one in control, as well as appearing to have a full, well-rounded life.

And the more high-value you appear, the more attraction will grow, and the more successful you will be on these dating apps.

And after she finally says yes, make sure you avoid this critical mistake! Click here to learn more

Need Help Getting to a First Date? Hire Our Pros!

If you’re getting matches but struggling to turn them into actual dates, your dating profile could be part of the problem.

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