How To Handle Ghosting on Dating Apps
How To Handle Ghosting on Dating Apps (And Prevent It in the Future)
If you’ve been wondering how to handle ghosting on dating apps (and prevent it in the future), you’re not alone. In today’s digital dating culture, disappearing acts happen far too often which can feel emotionally debilitating. But the truth is, ghosting isn’t always your fault, and there steps you can take to prevent it in the future. Let’s discuss!
What Ghosting Really Means (And What It Doesn’t)
The feelings of rejection by someone who ghosts you can be hard to deal with. Many people assume that being ghosted is a direct reflection of their value or dating ability (sometimes it is a skill issue – more on this later), but the truth is: a lot of the times ghosting happens for reasons that are outside of your control.
Let’s learn how to handle getting ghosting on dating apps by starting with a break down of several reasons people disappear, that have absolutely nothing to do with you as a person.
1. They Met Someone Else
Online dating is a numbers game. The reality is, most people are talking to multiple matches at once until things get serious—and sometimes, a different connection progresses faster than yours.
This doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough or that dating apps are a waste of time. It just means you weren’t the one they prioritized. This could be due to timing, chemistry, or personal preference. It may hurt, but you can’t always take this personally—you just weren’t the right person for this particular match.
2. They Weren’t Honest About Their Intentions
Not everyone is on a dating apps for the same reason.
Some people state they want a relationship, when in reality, they’re just seeking validation or casual attention. In other cases, they might be feigning interest in a relationship, just to get closer to you physically.
If your match ghosts after a few messages or a first date, it may be because their intentions were never genuine—and once they got what they wanted (attention, a confidence boost, a hookup), they vanished.
This isn’t a reflection of you—it’s a sign they weren’t showing up truthfully.
3. They’re Taking a Break from Online Dating
Dating apps can be emotionally draining. Between swiping fatigue, endless amounts of boring or awkward small talk, and matches that continue to fall short of expectations, many people hit a breaking point and just cut off all communication, often without saying a word to the people they were chatting with.
Again, this isn’t your fault. They didn’t ghost you—they ghosted the entire app. Is it immature not to say something? Sure. Should they say something? Absolutely. But it happens more often than you’d think. In these cases, consider yourself lucky that you dodged the bullet of being with such an inconsiderate person so early on.
4. Online Disconnection Makes Ghosting On Dating Apps Easier
When you’re dating through a screen, empathy drops from most people. There’s just so much of a disconnection from “real life” that many forget the person on the other side has real feelings and emotions.
In real life, ghosting someone mid-conversation or after a date would be unthinkable. But online? It’s a click away. The lack of face-to-face interaction makes it easier for people to treat others in ways they never would offline. It’s frustrating and cowardly—but it’s the reality. Once you can understand that there is often a lack of empathy, it is easier to learn how to handle ghosting on dating apps.
5. The Connection Wasn’t as Great as You Thought
Sometimes, a date or interaction on the app that felt like a strong connection to you, might not have landed the same way for the other person.
You might have been emotionally invested on a date, interpreting politeness or mild chemistry as a spark. But your match may have left the date feeling uncertain or uninterested. Instead of expressing it, they simply fade out—leaving you confused and frustrated.
That doesn’t mean you were wrong to feel excited. It just means you might have missed some signs, and that’s something worth reflecting on in the future.
What You Can Control (To Prevent Ghosting in the Future)
You can’t stop people from ghosting. But you can take steps to dramatically reduce how often it happens to you—let’s dive into some approaches you can take.
1. Improve Your Overall Dating Game
Once you’ve met someone from an app in real life, how you show up on the actual dates matters even more than your profile ever did.
Ghosting after a first or second date often happens when there’s a disconnect between the chemistry you are having on the dating apps and the chemistry you have in real life. You might have clicked online, but if the in-person energy doesn’t match, interest can fade quickly.
Here’s how to make a stronger impression when the phones are away:
- Be present and engaged. Your entire focus should be on your date and nothing else. Show genuine interest and enjoy the moment.
- Bring confident body language. Sit with a confident posture, maintain eye contact, and lean in (but not too much). Confidence is shown through physical behaviors, not just words.
- Put effort into your appearance. Show that you care. Being clean, well-dressed, and intentional about your look not only tells the other person the date matters to you, but it signals you know how to take care of yourself.
- Don’t try to sell yourself. There shouldn’t be an undertone to your conversations that you are trying to convince the other person why you are worth dating. This should happen organically and naturally through all the great things you reveal about yourself.
- Match the vibe of your profile. If your profile was fun and charismatic, bring that same energy in person.
2. Self-Reflect After Each Date or Conversation
Ask yourself:
- Was I fully present and engaged?
- Did I listen, or just talk about myself?
- Did I create space for connection—or was I performing?
- Was he or she showing signs romantic interest (light touching, strong eye contact, etc.) or was my date just being friendly and polite?
- Was the date good, but not good enough that my match wouldn’t consider keeping his or her options open?
The better you get at noticing your own patterns, the more you can spot and correct habits that may be subtly pushing people away—even if you mean well.
3. Become a More Interesting Person
Want to be someone people don’t ghost? Become someone they can’t forget.
When you live an interesting, full life—when you pursue passions, challenge yourself, and constantly grow—you naturally bring more to the table and people will naturally be more interested in you. This will come across in your dating photos, profile, messages, and dates.
Don’t just work on your dating life. Work on your real life. Dating and messaging success often follows.
4. Learn How to Create Real Attraction
Attraction isn’t just physical—it’s emotional.
Most people don’t get ghosted because they’re too “unattractive.” They get ghosted because they don’t create enough of an emotional spark or build enough attraction through means other than their physical appearance.
If you are not familiar with how to build attraction in ways that don’t connect to your looks (both online and on your dates), this is something you should learn immediately.
5. Become a More Engaging Conversationalist
Whether you are on the dating apps or on a date, if your conversations feel like interviews, job applications, or are just straight up boring, ghosting becomes far more likely.
Strong conversationalists know how to balance curiosity, humor, vulnerability, and storytelling. They know when to ask great questions, and when to challenge or joke lightly.
This isn’t about being a comedian or a silver-tongued flirt. It’s about making someone feel something when they talk to you. That’s what keeps them from disappearing.
Want Some Professional Help That Will Help You To Avoid Getting Ghosted On Dating Apps? We Can Help!
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