No Replies On Dating Sites?  4 Reasons Critical Reasons You Are Struggling

By Joshua Pompey

In this article Joshua Pompey examines four of the most common reasons that you aren’t receiving replies on dating sites.

Not receiving any replies on dating sites can be an emotionally crippling experience.  Take it from me, I’ve been there.

Long before I developed a reputation as the best online dater in the world, I went months receiving no responses to my messages.  It was absolutely devastating.  I began online dating with high hopes and left with severe depression and feelings of complete inadequacy.

The good news is, once I took the time to figure out WHY women weren’t responding to my messages, online dating became my own personal playground.  That is of course, until I met my beautiful wife!  Today I’d like to share four of the biggest reasons you might not be receiving responses online so that you can get yourself on the right path to success.

1.  You aren’t disrupting the pattern

Beautiful women get messaged by an insane amount of men on dating sites.  After a while, every profile and message that comes their way starts to feel like nothing more than noise and static.  People just weren’t meant to have that many options.

In order to overcome this, you have to become a disrupter.  Think of yourself as the online dating equivalent of Uber trying to put the taxi industry out of business, or Netflix crushing decades of dominance by Blockbuster.

You need to show these women something they haven’t seen before.  Maybe it’s a provocative profile.  Maybe it’s a hook to your profile that is just insanely funny.  Maybe it’s an attention grabbing profile picture.  Regardless of the path, if you don’t find a way to disrupt the competition, you will never get to the destination.

2.  You are playing the game of looks

If you try to win at online dating by playing the game of looks, you will lose.  There will always be someone better looking or some douchey guy with muscles growing out of his muscles.

In order to attract women online, you need to play the game of attraction from a scientific vantage point.  Upon learning the science and psychology of attraction, you will find that women experience attraction much differently than men.  Women respond much more to a man’s internal qualities and personality traits than to a man’s physical appearance.

Once you learn what these triggers of attraction are, there are endless ways you can infuse them into your profile writing, photos, and emails.  While explaining the science of attraction would be a whole separate article (and book!) in itself, here are 5 methods that you can instantly implement right now.

3.  You have not fully optimized your foundation

It is critical to understand that online dating goes against our human nature.  Humans were not meant to have so many romantic options at the same time.  This perception of unlimited options makes it harder for women to make a choice, and consequently, they become much pickier than they would be in a normal dating atmosphere.

For this reason, your foundation (the profile writing and photos you post) must be optimized to absolute perfection.  One misguided photo, one slightly unattractive picture, or even one sentence in your profile that puts doubt in a woman’s mind, will instantly send her clicking over to the next profile.   For a list of 15 red flags that are often unintentional, click here.

If you want women to respond to your messages online, the foundation must be absolutely flawless and designed to create an emotional response.  For some free advice to help you accomplish this, here are 21 of the best online dating photo ideas or click here for help writing your online dating profile.

4.  Your opening is missing the mark

The average woman is bombarded with boring emails or creepy sexual comments.  Simply saying hello or attempting to make small talk based on a commonality will not be enough to get a woman excited.

Now I know what some of you are thinking.  You’ve tried to write creative emails in the past and have had very little luck.  Why put in so much effort if there isn’t going to be a huge payoff?

But here’s the thing… if you were not receiving responses to your messages on dating sites, either something is off with your foundation (the profile writing and photos), or your emails were failing to ignite interest.  Just like a doctor would attempt to diagnose an illness based on symptoms, you have to do the same thing with your online dating presence and figure out where the problem lies.

The best place to start is the profile writing and photos.  Reflect honestly to the best of your ability.  Did your profile writing and photos reach their maximum potential?  If and only if the answer to that question is a yes, then you should begin to focus on the fact that your emails might be the reason women aren’t responding.

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